| Shitstorm VI
Lucius
| |
 Watch part one and part two on YouTube | |
| Game | Lucius |
| Controller | Pat |
| Length | 59:49 |
| Next | The Evil Within 2 |
| Previous | IMSCARED |
“The problem with Jesus is that he's constantly biting Lucius' style and like, just getting in his face.” — Matt
Lucius is the twenty-ninth and thirtieth episode of Matt and Pat's Shitstorm VI special.
About[]
- “Twenty-ninth Night: Through the time-travel device, I went back to the day of October 1st. Every thing was still normal. The shitstorm hasn't arrived yet. I went to the Zaibatsu's headquarter to research and attempt to find some information about the upcoming shitstorm.
After a few hours of wasted time, the phone rang. On the caller display, the call is from me, the past me! I remember, I did make a phone call.
I did my best to imitate Matt's voice and answered the call. I did a shitty job at it. I think I sounded more like Woolie than Matt. But it didn't seem like it mattered because my past self didn't notice. I must have been too preoccupied about the shitstorm, I guess?
It's too late to prevent the coming of the shitstorm. But I can still try to find a way to end it. The note said all Billies must die to stop it, then that's what I'm gonna do.
After a good night rest, the next day I started heading towards my apartment. However, the shitstorm has already started. Outside, everyone is trying to kill me. But in self-defense, I had to incinerate the poor souls.
There were so many... it's like the whole world were turned against me. It took me a few days of fighting before I finally arrive at my destination. But the apartment was barricaded.
I had to figure out a way to get in. And then a marvelous idea struck. I pretended to be the delivery guy who came with the SNES classic mini, the European version. But damn, that fucker past me didn't fall for my deception! How the hell do I outsmart myself?
Then I tried to remember what happened to my past self, and then it clicked. My past self was sick. Therefore, in order to make that happen, I had to pollute the air at the apartment.
In order to do this, I killed the people living next door, got myself a gas mask, and poured around some toxic chemical stuff to start poisoning the air towards my apartment. My past self got sick quick very fast, and then a few days later, he died.
And when he did, I managed to enter the apartment through the windows. At that time, I panicked a bit when I saw myself, dead. I was being irrational, so started writing in the log, pretending everything were fine. I tried very hard to impersonate my past self, and wrote:
GREETINGS, THIS IS BILLY SPEAKING. EVERYTHING IS GOING PERFECTLY FINE. NOTHING WRONG IS GOING ON, SO THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. PLEASE REMAIN CALM. IF YOU PROCEED NORMALLY, BAD THINGS WILL NOT HAPPEN TO YOU. HAPPY CHRISTMAS.
I thought I did a good job, but now looking at it, it looks very suspicious.
More on my time-travel ventures tomorrow.
-Billy” - — Part one description
- “Thirtieth Night: After having killed my past self, I went back to the Zaibatsu headquarter to plan my next course of action. However, I noticed something strange in the log. Particularly on nights 14, 15, and 16.
I didn't write the logs of those particular days. And upon analysis, the logs on nights 14, 15 felt a malfunctioning Billy. And on the 16th, he sounded normal. What does that mean?
I theorized that after I killed my past self, he must have revived and regenerated slowly but fully.
I came back to my apartment on the 17th. And there he was. My past self was sleeping, but well alive. I guess along with my multiple powers, immortality is one of them.
I was at loss to what to do. Then I remembered what I initially wrote on the log of the 17th Night. I wrote that I had a huge scar and felt like I was missing an organ.
So I pumped lots of anesthesia to keep my past self asleep, and loaded the Surgeon memory into my brain, and performed an operation to my past self.
When I opened the chest, I found a black core. I took it out and closed the body. I think this is it, this black core must be the source of the shitstorm.
I destroyed the core, I think this is it. I've done my quest. I don't need to kill my past self, just the black core. Time to go back to future.
But before I left, I summoned Cerberus to protect my past self. I then activated the time-travel device and which brought me back to October 28th, and I've been living peacefully until today.
However, the shitstorm is still here... the black core isn't the source then? After some research, I cam to conclusion that I AM the real shitstorm, as I thought initially. So all Billies still must die. But I forgot one... myself.
I'm the shitstorm. To save the world from myself, I must kill myself. It's the only way.
Tonight I'm taking one last night of leisure, and then tomorrow, I'll write a final log, and then use the time-travel to go to October 23rd. The night where the future me tried to kill me, but failed.
When I die from the hands of my past self, that should complete the time loop and end the shitstorm. And that will be the end of all.
But for tonight, let's play some video games, one last time.
-Billy” - — Part two description
Description[]
Matt and Pat must battle with Satan for control over their computer as they help the ugliest child in the world murder his entire family, have sex with a maid outfit, fight the Irish, and challenge his mother to a Yapapi Strope match.
Quotes[]
- “Oh no, a burning crow ran at us.”
- — Pat
- “That's so three-eyed raven.”
- — Matt
- “Or when you ask Woolie to do a chore and he just sits in his own filth for a year.”
- — Pat
- “Later that evening, Lucius was playing Yo-Kai Watch.”
- — Matt
- “Ugh.. Satanic.”
- — Pat
- “Why did she tell me to go to bed and then lock the freezer?”
- — Pat
- “Ahhh, maybe she's masturbating in there. I would.”
- — Matt
- “That's cold.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, because next morning they'll be like, 'Where's our sexy French maid? Is she frozen again in the freezer?'.”
- — Matt
- “Let's thaw her out, with this dick.”
- — Pat
- “You just gave me a fucking flashlight, dickhole. I could have gone to the hardware store and got that.”
- — Matt to Satan
- “The problem with Jesus is that he's constantly biting Lucius' style and like, just getting in his face.”
- — Matt
- “Watch out, Lucius! He's Irish!”
- — Matt
- “Oh no! Not even the Devil can fight that shit.”
- — Pat
- “This is a Series of Unfortunate Events, Mr. Jim Carey Neil Patrick Harris Samuel L. Jackson.”
- — Matt
- “Mother, I will fight you. I will fight you on the moon.”
- — Pat as Lucius
- “I will fight you under the sea. Wherever you may be. You will die, Mother.”
- — Matt
- “I will challenge you to a Yapapi Strope match.”
- — Pat as Lucius
- “...Strap match.”
- — Matt