PAT-TRON Current
“That's what happens. Oh boy!” — Mantra of the House of Luck

PAT-TRON 4000, also known as "Lucky Ted", is the name of Pat's created character in Dark Souls 3.


The history of PAT-TRON "Lucky Ted" 4000 is shrouded in mystery but stories of his unparalleled luck have already been spread throughout the kingdoms. Supposedly he once had a group of prepaid prostitutes show up at his house thinking he was a different guy named "Lucky Ted" and it is said he commonly gets extra levels from the Shrine Maiden due to clerical errors.

With the help of his mocking spirit guides, Matthew and Woolsworth III, PAT-TRON 4000 began his adventure into the Kingdom of Lothric, quickly gaining an unquenchable thirst for souls. Often his spirit guides would leave him only to come back and find he had grown considerably larger from the massive amounts of souls he harvested while they were away. His hunger for souls was likened to Smough's hunger for flesh and this often brought ridicule from other Unkindled.

PAT-TRON 4000 met many strange people along his journey but none more so than Yoel of Londor, who after failing to kill himself, allied with PAT-TRON 4000 and began drawing out his true strength and creating dark sigils within PAT-TRON 4000. After using his services multiple times, PAT-TRON 4000 would return to Firelink Shrine one day to find him dead and a new ally, Yuria of Londor, taking his place. She told PAT-TRON 4000 of his destiny of becoming the next dark lord and how he should call upon the guidance of Woolsworth III in order to continue down the true path.

After conquering the heartiest of foes, from the Silver Knights of Anor Londo to the skeleton balls (DADADADA DA DADA!) in the Catacombs of Carthus, and overlooking numerous treasures along the way, PAT-TRON 4000 would eventually succeed in returning the Lords of Cinder to their thrones and gain entrance into the resting place of his final reward.

With the defeat of the Soul of Cinder, PAT-TRON 4000 had finished his quest and finally had the First Flame within his grasp. With Yuria's words clear in his mind and the sacrifice of his wife Anri heavy in his heart, PAT-TRON 4000 absorbed the fire and plunged the world into a never ending darkness. With his newly gained power surging within him, the Dark Lord Lucky Ted left the kiln, and took his place as the Lord of Hollows.

Lucky Ted sat dormant in his shrine for what seemed like ages until word reached him of a strange knight praying in the Cleansing Church. Upon speaking to the knight, Lucky Ted was shown a scrap of painting which sucked him into a land of ice and decay known as the Painted World of Ariandel. Having nothing better to do, Lucky Ted quickly began massacring the paintings residents, eventually discovering that the entire painting could be destroyed with the introduction of fire. Arriving at the settlement of Claw-Fucker Bird People, Lucky Ted avoided being married to a rotting bird carcass and instead opted to join the cranberry loving Kru Krux Kran.


  • Uchi-kun - Found on a madman outside Firelink Shrine. PAT-TRON 4000's trusted Uchigatana accompanied him at the start of his journey but was later abandoned for numerous other weapons.
  • Siegward of Catarina (Deceased) - Met in the Undead Settlement. He assisted PAT-TRON 4000 in murdering an innocent Balrog before getting drunk and passing out. Later found naked at the bottom of a well at the Cathedral of the Deep, and after being saved, appeared once again doing nothing in a kitchen in Irithyll of the Boreal Valley. His next appearance would be locked in a cell in the Irithyll Dungeon, where PAT-TRON 4000 struggled to find a way to save him. PAT-TRON 4000 eventually found a way to free him from his confinement, but Siegward would later perish in the battle against Yhorm the Giant.
  • Mimic-tan (Deceased) - Met in the Catacombs of Carthus. Mimic-tan attempted to help PAT-TRON 4000 fight the Casual Balrog's brother, Formal Balrog, but was felled by it's flame attacks.
  • Frank Castle - Failed to meet in the Catacombs of Carthus. His summon sign appeared before PAT-TRON 4000 twice, but PAT-TRON 4000 was not lucky enough to summon his aid in punishing the skeleton lord, Woljnir.
  • Anri of Astora (Deceased?) - First met on the Road of Sacrifices. Would later become PAT-TRON 4000's wife.
  • Residents of Firelink Shrine
  • Undead Settlement Giant
  • Kru Krux Kran - A group of unknown origin and purpose. The only thing that is known about them is they are required to have crew cuts and love to eat cranberries, which dye their white headpieces red with juices.


  • Casual Balrog (Deceased) - Met in the Undead Settlement. Despite his good nature and willingness to give others the good office chairs, he was viciously murdered by PAT-TRON 4000 and Siegward during his midday stroll through town.
  • Eager Eddy (Deceased) - Met in Undead Settlement. He was slain by PAT-TRON 4000 shortly after trying unsuccessfully to pelt him with poo. A member of the House of Eagerness, long time rivals to the House of Luck.
  • The Crab Protection Bros (Deceased) - Met in Farron Keep. Attempted to arrest PAT-TRON 4000 for his crimes against crab.
  • The Condom Vangaurd - Met in the Catherdral of the Deep. A bunch of gross slug people that vomit all over the place. Their whole purpose in life is to make you sick looking at their slimy used condom bodies and feed tongues to their Slugbutt queen.
  • Formal Balrog (Deceased) - Met in the Catacombs of Carthus. Attempted to avenge its brother, Casual Balrog, by defeating PAT-TRON 4000. After killing PAT-TRON 4000 once, along with Mimic-tan and the skeleton warriors, it was destroyed upon PAT-TRON 4000's return.
  • Basic Bitch Authority - Met in the Irithyll Dungeon. The remnants of the Royal Rat Authority from Lordran, which became a surprising challenge for PAT-TRON 4000.
  • Buff Bagwell
  • Claw-Fucker Bird People - A bunch of rotting bird people that live in a huge dump of a village. They have a custom of vomiting at their own presence, considering it rude to do otherwise. Lucky Ted was able to hold in his barf and avoid being married to one these horrible abominations, but created an enemy of the Claw Bro and Claw & Sword Bro clans.
  • Swindlers of Progress


  • PAT-TRON 4000 got his name as a spoof of the name Pat commonly gives to his created characters, Patron, and how it was mocked endlessly by Matt and Woolie in Bloodborne: The Old Hunters.
  • PAT-TRON 4000's nickname, Lucky Ted, came from a joke started in Part 1 of the Dark Souls 3 LP about a guy with extremely good luck. The name was coined by Woolie after Matt suggested building a character with all their stat increases in Luck.
  • The name Lucky Ted was also given to the main character in the Nier Let's Play.
  • PAT-TRON 4000 was set to be recreated on the PC, and renamed Lucky Ted, but this never happened due to FromSoftware stopping all save manipulation, causing Pat to cancel the change.
  • The origins of Lucky Ted were animated in Super Best Friends Animated: Lucky Ted, by GoogleyGareth. The events of the video are accurately excerpted from Dark Souls 3, part 1.

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