This is an extended page of Pat's most memorable quotes.
Quoter[]
- “Every time we make one of these videos I feel like a prostitute.”
- — Pat, on the subject of Xbox Live Indie Games Let's Plays
- “A real hero will suck a dick to save their children!”
- — Pat
- “Oh man that wind is so east!”
- — Pat
- “You can't solve world hunger by feeding people cancer!”
- — Pat[src]
- “I basically don't even play video games anymore, I just do this shit all day.”
- — Pat
- “This fucking flower is bullshit!”
- — Pat
- “Kids don't require as much oxygen, that's why they're hard to smother!”
- — Pat
- “FUCKING INVISIBLE!!!”
- — Pat
- “It's all goin' tits up now!”
- — Pat
- “You nerd!”
- — Pat
- “It's fine.”
- — Pat
- “Absolutely!”
- — Pat
- “This is garbage.”
- — Pat
- “This is the worst.”
- — Pat
- “That's absurd!”
- — Pat
- “It's not one hundred percent clear.”
- — Pat
- “Off to a rollicking good start.”
- — Pat
- “I think an old black man beating the shit out of a kid with a cane is the best thing in the world.”
- — Pat
- “This is going to be a curbstomp symphony.”
- — Pat
- “You cannot out-mash me!”
- — Pat
- “Eenie Meenie Miney Moe. I wonder where my glove will go.”
- — Pat
- “You know what the best thing to say during sex is? It feels so good around my dick, gurl!”
- — Pat
- “It means more time for me to like, Fist of the North Star your asses.”
- — Pat
- “You're weak!”
- — Pat
- “Rotate your saves.”
- — Pat
- “I'm so good you don't even know!”
- — Pat
- “Stop talking about Street Sharks!”
- — Pat
- “I wish I could kick Goofy down the fuckin' stairs. What an asshole.”
- — Pat
- “See ya, shitlords!”
- — Pat
- “I thought it felt like butterflies caressing my naked body... what the fuck am I talking about?”
- — Pat
- “Cut your shit!”
- — Pat
- “Fucking chomp-chomps! Oh my god these fucking, mother fucking chomp-chomps!”
- — Pat[src]
- “Aw, my breadsticks!”
- — Pat
- “Fuck off, robot. I love you!”
- — Pat
- “...He hit his jank and it was MAAAD stank!”
- — Pat[src]
- “Now if I'm in the Rockies I know which sheep to fuck.”
- — Pat[src]
- “Nanopaste. I used it.”
- — Pat[src]
- “I realized that the world isn't fair if the Power Rangers can lose.”
- — Pat
- “My moisture came back. I'm wet and ready to go now.”
- — Pat
- “The baby!”
- — Pat
- “What the hell is a ginny cage?! Is that where Ron’s sister is kept?”
- — Pat
- “The gaming industry is bizarre. It is not an industry of success. It is an industry of your competitor, your direct head to head competitor, tripping over their dick and faceplanting into a bunch of shit. The only reason Sony got ground with the PS1 is because Nintendo fucked them with a deal and then went with carts for N64 and spent so many years pissing off third parties that everyone was willing to jump ship. The Saturn fucking killed itself by dropping into stores that were only Kmarts. The PS3 fucked up its entire early launch cycle by going a year late $200 more. And if you can just keep your company not shitty, if you can make a not terrible product, and your competitor makes an awful one, you’re the one who gets all the money.”
- — Pat
- “If I wanna get killed by a barbed wire dick, I want it to be on land.”
- — Pat
- “I don't want to walk into this classroom and get hit with a shower of fetuses from your unwanted pregnancies!”
- — Pat[src]
- “Shut up, Garbage.”
- — Pat[src]
- “I had sixty thousand people calling me a paedophile on a swing.”
- — Pat
- “Who is to say that the love between a man and a shotgun is not sacred?”
- — Pat
- “I think the worst thing I ever read about an animal is that ducks have projectile dicks.”
- — Pat
- “You wanna know where your clothes should be? On the floor, next to all my empty cans of Dragon Kick!”
- — Pat[src]
- “I think Liam is super cute, you guys.”
- — Pat
- “You guys are gonna steal my pies!”
- — Pat
- “Liam's not hot, Liam's cute.”
- — Pat
- “I need to watch some lady-killing material.”
- — Pat
- “When you run out of stuff to talk about, talk about dead wrestlers.”
- — Pat
- “I am a fucking gentleman, you shit.”
- — Pat
- “You can only find the truest capitalism within a communist country.”
- — Pat[src]
- “I am what you would call a shotgun connoisseur.”
- — Pat
- “She's not looking, stare at her tits!”
- — Pat[src]
- “If all else fails, just cheat like crazy.”
- — Pat[src]
- “Hey kids! Smoke crack!”
- — Pat
- “Don't x-ray yourself, that's bad for your junk.”
- — Pat
- “You can't keep hot ramen in your butt all day.”
- — Pat
- “Everything fucks, Matt. Everything on this Earth. Even weird plants fuck, they just fuck weird. Plants just sorta jizz all over the floor, and then other plants roll around in it by accident.”
- — Pat[src]
- “What, you don't think a giant rubber fist is romantic?”
- — Pat
- “The sea is basically the sky of the ground.”
- — Pat[src]
- “The bigger the fists, the better the game.”
- — Pat
- “These aren't even good bananas...”
- — Pat, after being forced by Matt to eat bananas and play Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze for four hours
- “There's no 'pretty early' for drinking, what the hell's wrong with you?”
- — Pat, Street Fighter IV Tournament Match at Dawson College in Montreal on March 27th 2009
- “I'm dead inside! I can watch ANYTHING, now!”
- — Pat
- “This is the hypest shit!”
- — Pat
- “There's no parole in the apocalypse.”
- — Pat
- “I'm gonna fucking save.”
- — Pat
- “Considering how fucked up that shit we just did was.”
- — Pat
- “I want the Earth to be destroyed, so that I can have good views like this.”
- — Pat
- “You have to mash it to murder.”
- — Pat
- “Arm floaties are great cause you just put them on kids, then you throw them in there and the kids not gonna die.”
- — Pat
- “I can't beat her to death with nothin'. The game won't let me.”
- — Pat
- “Nice use of proboscis. I like it.”
- — Pat
- “Woolie has wild rats, the ones that can use firearms.”
- — Pat
- “I have a sick pipe now, with death shit on it.”
- — Pat
- “I'm gonna cheap out and murder you.”
- — Pat
- “If a girl gave me a Voltron toy, I would marry her on the spot.”
- — Pat
- “Dear diary, today I saw Leon. Splosh, the diary is ruined.”
- — Pat
- “The King! I am the King!”
- — Pat
- “I’ve always wanted to become one with the package.”
- — Pat
- “He just fisted through to the other side!”
- — Pat
- “I’ll go out like i went in: with no dignity and with everyone watching.”
- — Pat
- “I’d hit Leon.”
- — Pat
- “Always pull out.”
- — Pat
- “In the winter, you can always, BURN MORE STUFF.”
- — Pat
- “Stupid dumb kids should get shot.”
- — Pat
- “It’s like a sonic dickboom!”
- — Pat
- “They’re giant, they’re like the size of your dick!”
- — Pat
- “No, they just like to fuck me!”
- — Pat responding to Woolie asking "He likes to fuck horses, doesn't he?"
- “I’m gonna dress up like a dinosaur and have sex with that car!”
- — Pat
- “Goddamnit, cat! I want to put things in you!”
- — Pat
- “When you make sex jokes that’s how you know you’re at your peak.”
- — Pat
- “I can read your turgid mind.”
- — Pat
- “Watch Dogs ruined a lot of things.”
- — Pat
- “If you lube it, I will come.”
- — Pat
- “I don’t get frozen because i’m already too cool.”
- — Pat
- “What’s with you and the rocket launcher porn?”
- — Pat
- “The feel of dick.”
- — Pat
- “Don’t put your dick in your food.”
- — Pat
- “I’m gonna let him lick my butt and smell my butt.”
- — Pat
- “Double fist that giant lizard.”
- — Pat
- “I’m gonna hide this in Liam.”
- — Pat
- “I oozed a little bit of tension out earlier.”
- — Pat
- “Am I drunk?”
- — Pat
- “Kids: if you smoke tobacco, you’ll be healthy forever.”
- — Pat
- “Internet penetration just wasn’t there.”
- — Pat
- “I just got an achievement for having an affair with Taft.”
- — Pat
- “No pants in the horror game.”
- — Pat
- “You'd be crazy how hard ypu can die underwater.”
- — Pat
- “My balls need all the skin they can get.”
- — Pat
- “Draw a butt and if you get an erection you may have a problem.”
- — Pat
- “Butt jackets - Coming from the makers of the Snuggie.”
- — Pat
- “If you can’t tell how old they are that’s how you know it’s good.”
- — Pat
- “Hey, I’m not bleeding any more. This must be how girls feel!”
- — Pat
- “Just because I beat my wife doesn’t make me evil. Everybody beats their wife!”
- — Pat
- “My pants are down and my tiny dick is out!”
- — Pat
- “Why don’t I just shove poop in their butt?”
- — Pat
- “It goes in easy, comes out hard.”
- — Pat
- “Bear trapper and spring boner.”
- — Pat
- “Super Best Friend Zaibatsu - The Floppiest Dicks on Youtube!”
- — Pat
- “Girls splooshing all over my shoes, just like Superchunk.”
- — Pat
- “"Lets all breathe, it’s important"”
- — Pat
- “No one’s gonna adopt melted kids!”
- — Pat
- “Can’t you just wear your balls as pants?”
- — Pat
- “We should all just butter ourselves.”
- — Pat
- “The secret Street Fighter 4 character is gonna be Lightning.”
- — Pat
- “It's not like I like hearing it, b-baka...”
- — Pat
- “I’ve been told that the squirt of truth burns if you get it in your eye.”
- — Pat
- “Doves are jerk birds. No one likes them.”
- — Pat
- “Remember when Robocop just exploded with piss all over N209?”
- — Pat
- “Nazis for all”
- — Pat
- “Is turgid ever used for anything other than dicks?”
- — Pat
- “I have to go to jail for 25 years. Now I’ll never see Face/Off!”
- — Pat
- “Wait til the tip is off, then cut.”
- — Pat
- “I’m gonna fuck that bird with this coconut!”
- — Pat
- “I'm being gang-banged over here by the weirdest androgynous bunch of motherfuckers ever!!”
- — Patt
- “What the fuck is Homestuck?”
- — Pat
- “Hey! This is where Leon choked me in the flashback I had before it happened.”
- — Pat
- “That's how babies work. They're actually teleporting babies from the future into their uteruses.”
- — Pat
- “Complete heroic shit for whatever.”
- — Pat
- “You know what I mean?”
- — Pat[src]
- “Drop your shield!”
- — Pat[src]
- “Don't worry about it.”
- — Pat
- “Look, your red is burst with face-lightning!”
- — Pat[src]
- “Give- Give- Give it to me. Give me the fucking.”
- — Pat[src]
- “My girlfriend beat it for me while I cried.”
- — Pat
- “Excuse me.”
- — Pat[src]
- “I've died and gone to Italy!”
- — Pat
- “You'd be amazed how gross things can be if they're just gross.”
- — Pat
- “It's about experiencing things as we experience them... Like a pile of shit.”
- — Pat
- “Time to be a huge coward.”
- — Pat[src]
- “Well, in Japan, children shove things up each others asses all the time”
- — Pat
- “I thought my soul was dead. Then I started watching Watamote.”
- — Pat on Twitter[1]
- “There's a certain nobility in lying in bed all day pretending things aren't the way they are.”
- — Pat[src]
- “You're not my mom, and if you were I'd be like, 'Fuck you, mom!', 'cause I'm a stupid white kid.”
- — Pat[src]
- “The decision has already been made poorly.”
- — Pat[src]
- “When you're short like me, every bump in the road is a hill you can die on.”
- — Pat [2]
- “Oh, what a good boy. He's done nothing, but he's a good boy. You know why? Cause he's the best child ever. I sometimes think about people with real children, like, human children, and wonder if they can feel even a smidgen of the love we feel for Elmo. And the answer is no. They could never.”
- — Pat [3]
- “Paige gave me love eyes right before the stream started. It was like, "I love you so much, oh my god. You are the mountain that I will climb until I die," she said. Remember that time Quark and... and Bashir... no, Odo got stuck on the planet, and they had to carry each other for the radio tower? I'm Quark, you're Odo.”
- — Pat, referencing The Ascent (DS9)[4]
- “I'm just going to fuck everything with my fucking face.”
- — Pat[src]
- “To every developer who helped us do our jobs by either making great or goddamn awful games; to every person we ever ran into at a con who asked us a really fucking weird question; and to anybody that ever watched an episode of one of our shitty Let's Plays—thanks.”
- — Pat[src]
- “A clap is just a high-five for yourself.”
- — Pat, Castle Super Beast 1
- “Clowns are just louder, assholer mimes.”
- — Pat, Castle Super Beast 038
- “A little bit of piss never hurt anyone.”
- — Pat, Castle Super Beast 038
- “I am a human tip jar, and you will deposit your tips into me! No, you know what, lets... lets... can I roll that back? Can we just pretend I never said that? Can we... can we just rewind time for a bit? Oh no.”
- — Pat
- “Welcome back to the stream, everybody. I was like, "Oh man, I hope I still know how to do this!" and then I'm like, oh wait, no, I don't know how to do anything. That's the charm.”
- — Pat
- “I am famous for my small arms and big heart.”
- — Pat, Death Stranding Twitch stream, Nov 23 2019
- “If you *ever* have the opportunity to sell out you sell out as hard as you can it will be the best thing that ever happened to your fucking life! No one ever regretted selling out, except for 'artists' who care about their 'integrity' 'n shit.”
- — Pat, 2016
- “I'm Pat.”
- — Pat
- “You ever hear the phrase "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"? Don't look a ham sandwich in the... without the... ham.”
- — Pat, The Epic Ham Sandwich Battle[5]
- “Listen. If you used save states to beat a Nintendo game, don't you ever sit down and say that you beat it.”
- — Pat, CSB #50
- “Well sometimes your balls can get, uh, can, can be, can overlap onto your dick and you can pee into your balls, and then it'll hit the top of the balls and shoot up, and that's terrible. Right. But, um... that's gross. Um... but also, if you can stand and pee, that's cool. You're like showing the toilet who's boss.”
- — Pat, Resident Evil: Code: Veronica X, Twitch
- “See, sometimes dicks are small. Other times dicks are big. Sometimes your balls are huge. Other times, they're less huge. It's a complicated menagerie of tapestry and emotion.”
- — Pat, Resident Evil: Code: Veronica X, Twitch
- “Whorein' is honest work. Nothin' wrong with whorein'.”
- — Pat
- “Nuns are just God's maids.”
- — Pat
- “You people aren't here for good jokes. You're here for my jokes.”
- — Pat, RE4 Twitch part 1
- “I may lose my hair, but I've got people that care. Ayyy. Like Peaches and Paige.”
- — Pat, RE4 Twitch
- “You wait until you start losing to cheat. Woolie, you're not supposed to cheat or do bad things, unless things are not going your way. Then you're totally allowed. That's how the real world works, man.”
- — Pat, SBFC #184[6]
- “If I could, I would replace my arms and legs with arm and leg sized dicks.”
- — Pat
- “Art students didn't go to art school to learn anything other than how to draw robots and titties.”
- — Pat
- “My fursona is a taller version of me.”
- — Pat
- “See, Canadians—French Canadians—are descended from whoores, English Canadians are descended from soldiers and jackasses, Australians are descended from criminals, the Americans are descended from puritanical religious assholes who were too weird to live in England, and the English are just awful.”
- — Pat
- “Did you know that fractions are just decimal points for assholes?”
- — Pat, Frog Fractions