Yakuza 0 (WoolieVersus)

WoolieVs Yakuza 0
Watch this Let's Play on YouTube
Game	Yakuza 0
Episodes	48 (part 1)
Combined Length	39:53:07 (part 1)
Original Run	Dec 14, 2020 - Mar 21, 2021 (part 1) Feb 24, 2024 - (part 2)
Controller	Woolie

“Woolie, it's the fuckin' 80's. Spend that fuckin' money, let's go!” — Little V

WoolieVS Yakuza 0 is a full Let's Play in which Woolie and Little V Mills, later reincarnated into Reggie, take another trip to Japan, this time straight to the 80's, when exchanging CP was acceptable and fisting artists were a lucrative profession, and proceed to never kill anyone, study the bat, destroy Japan's economy

About

“New Woolie VS shirts! https://store.roosterteeth.com/products/woolie-vs-logo-t-shirt
Woolie VS Tip Jar: https://streamlabs.com/woolieversus/tip

Featuring:
Woolie https://twitter.com/WoolieWoolz
Little V https://www.youtube.com/user/LittleVMills

Edited by Minh https://twitch.tv/SoushinSen
Intro by Minh and Little V”

— Video description - Part 1

“Death Metal Shirts! https://store.roosterteeth.com/collections/castle-super-beast
Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@woolievsthealgorithm
Woolie VS Tip Jar: https://streamlabs.com/woolieversus/tip

Featuring:
Woolie https://twitter.com/WoolieWoolz
Reggie https://twitter.com/MTL_Reggie

Edited by Minh https://twitter.com/SoushinSen”

— Video description - Part 2

Quotes

“You come at the king, you best come correct!”

— Woolie

“Never killed anybody, though.”

— Woolie

“Never. Never once.”

— Little V

“I am getting a very, very pure Crime Ryu aura from this man, and I am also getting him alongside Leon and Dante in the "What is sex?" club.”

— Woolie

“Swords unsheathed, 'cause shots don't get fired.”

— Woolie

“You wanna mess with the Japanese branch of Latin Kings?”

— Woolie

“Hey, press the X X X and the Y Y Y.”

— Little V

“Oh yeah, we're gonna start collecting CP, I forgot about that.”

— Little V

“I like cheese pizza.”

— Woolie

“Big soupin'! All night soupin'!”

— Woolie

“Fuckin' Johnny Sack over here, the New York boys.”

— Woolie

“You're a skeezy old fuck, but you're teaching me cool shit, dude.”

— Woolie

“Woolie, it's the fuckin' 80's. Spend that fuckin' money, let's go!”

— Little V

“Okay, the pavement's made of coke, and underneath it there's the Jenova floor...”

— Woolie

“Yep.”

— Little V

“But beneath that floor there's the dog racing track and the casino.”

— Woolie

“This is the world where the priviliged have pores and creases.”

— Woolie

“This just became a PVP zone!”

— Woolie

“Formal attire plus warlord glasses, gotta be a yakuza boss.”

— Woolie

“Crime rules!”

— Woolie

“Crime is the best!”

— Little V

“Shakedown, shakedown! Shakedown, shakedown!”

— Woolie

“Woolie, he didn't just take your money, he took your batteries.”

— Little V

“You cannot believe how tight that kigu was! Mad clench!”

— Woolie

“Woolie, I'm the white one.”

— Little V

“Let's be honest: if there is ever a Gang-Star in this fuckin' world, it's fuckin' Kiryu.”

— Little V

“He's on the streets right now! COVID Shakedown appears!”

— Woolie

“COVID with a fedora and a blazer.”

— Little V

“Okay, but if you beat it, though, how much fuckin' money do you get?”

— Woolie

“All of it. All the money it's zapped from the world economy.”

— Little V

“Oh, Jesus, that's worth it!”

— Woolie

“I think that would be worth it, if you could fight it. Jesus.”

— Little V

“Just get the pattern down! Just hard cut to your body dead in the fuckin' streets, like, arm twisted backwards upside-down, like, embarrassing death pose.”

— Woolie

“Guys, Mina-chan is sus.”

— Little V

“Be sure to subscribe to her Turbo-tier.”

— Woolie

“Leave Jiren to him!”

— Woolie

“Bath water over the waterfall falling on my head, then I can get the purest training!”

— Woolie

“The Kink Shame Royal Guard has arrived!”

— Woolie

“No more sun for Canada. Sun is illegal.”

— Little V

“Sell your diamond plates for CP.”

— Little V

“"Lesson learned" theme activated.”

— Little V

“Sell your goddamn bath water and make a fuckin' killing.”

— Little V

“Hello, fellow...”

— Woolie

“Hobos.”

— Little V

“Dregs of society! I too am... downtrodden.”

— Woolie

“Dude, it's the 80's. Even the homeless people are picky.”

— Little V

“Hey, there you go. There's some CP after talking to the homeless people.”

— Little V

“Before I even gave it to him. What if I said no? They gave me free CP... hold on a second.”

— Woolie

“The question is, "Is this the David Cage flavor of noble hobos?"”

— Woolie

“The "V" stands from the "Volcano", that was from my dad's last name. You can probably guess where the volcano part came from, if you know Sicilians.”

— Little V

“True shogi players play for CP, after all.”

— Little V

“The Essence of Hustle!”

— Woolie

“Man, I'm like "His three styles are gonna be Thug, Hustle and Flow!"”

— Woolie

“There's only two genders: men and menn't.”

— Little V

“I go to a hostess club, and she's like, "Man, when are they gonna make Bloodborne 2?"”

— Woolie

“Welcome to fuckin' Yakuza: The Experience.”

— Little V

“Is this the goddamn Exar Kun armor all over again? Jesus Christ!”

— Little V

“Listen, I'm no stranger to wearing, like, offensive clothes. I mean, I was a metalhead teenager, I had that fuckin' "Jesus is a cunt" T-shirt that everyone always had.”

— Little V

“Why is there one shared life bar for this whole room? That's very suspicious!”

— Woolie

“Shooreh pippi is even harder!”

— Woolie

“This should've been the place where you spend your CP!”

— Woolie

“At an extra $5.99 premium package, you can have the bat with the nails in it!”

— Little V

“There you go! We call it the "shooreh pippi"!”

— Woolie

“How many internment camps do you think were edited out of the Mulan movie while it aired?”

— Little V

“Sephiroth summons Meteor! Here we fuckin' go!”

— Little V

“I look forward to "Little V is Over" party later tonight or when the episode airs, we'll see.”

— Little V

“I bet if you give her enough toys and enough dolls, you'll get some CP out of this.”

— Little V

“These games predate me. I did not know OutRun existed until I played this game.”

— Little V

“So it's just like the money is on my body right now.”

— Woolie

“They're using the game to stare at the camera and be like, "Fuck you! Taxation is theft!"”

— Woolie

“It's almost like the government are yakuza.”

— Woolie

“By Japanese definition, we're both criminals.”

— Little V

“Yep. I got a couple of black ladies on my back, huuuuuuge criminal!”

— Woolie

“Pazaak: part 2.”

— Little V

“No story progress can be made until birb acquired.”

— Little V

“Ol' Captain Save-A-Ho Makimura!”

— Woolie

“If you low angle geyser on the lady, you low angle on the boys!”

— Woolie

“Y'know, equality for everyone, man.”

— Little V

“Absolutely! Get the bulge in there, let's see the veins!”

— Woolie

“Did your pants happen to say "Bring on all the fights!"?”

— Woolie

“Woolie, did you just Heat Move a child?”

— Little V

“Maybeeeeee... but that child had 35 million yen on him.”

— Woolie

“Let's go, Benjamin Button, you fuckin' weirdo!”

— Woolie

“You can't pilot the robot at 40.”

— Woolie

“"Say it! Say it!" "I'm an idiot roll".”

— Woolie

“I remember the time you were telling me about gutter oil.”

— Little V

“Aquatic shakedowns.”

— Woolie

“What is the price of a boner?”

— Woolie

“"I will mamoru you!", breakdances furiously.”

— Woolie

“Well, we're not sharing resources?”

— Woolie

“Well, there is one resource we're sharing.”

— Little V

“CP? ComPos?”

— Woolie

“Hell yeah, dude, so much CP, showing between our main heroes.”

— Little V

“They trade?!... Fuck that, fuck that shit.”

— Woolie

“Powerbomb into American History X!”

— Woolie

“Balls exposed on stream.”

— Little V

“Remember, folks: if you ever have, like, a broken rib or heasvily bruised walking out of the fight, just drink some energy drinks, that'll bring you right back to fold.”

— Little V

“All keisatsu are bastards.”

— Woolie

“Also Kiryu, you dummy, dancing is foreplay.”

— Woolie

“It's like, 'Sure, he's glowing with purple energy, but he's wearing glasses, so that's business energy'.”

— Woolie

“There's also CP tied to getting in taxis, so if you get into enough taxis, you can get some CP out of it.”

— Little V

“I'm in real estate, get fucked, children.”

— Little V

“We were lost in our world of fun, and this kid just made it real!”

— Woolie

“And you're 12 months from becoming a wizard, Harry.”

— Woolie

“Cherryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Faitaaaaaaaaa!”

— Woolie

“Someone else said, "You can't hide behind the 80s", and I say, yes, you fuckin' can. Have you seen the modern era?”

— Little V

“Canada, Bakumatsu period.”

— Woolie

“The door has accepted my deal!”

— Woolie

“You've dropkicked CP out of this man.”

— Little V

“I can't stop reading that name, it's Take-a-shita.”

— Little V

“Bezos has entered the battle! Step down so that he can spend more time fighting.”

— Woolie

“You know, if you think about it, a stun gun is a knife.”

— Woolie

“We're sleeping under the desks tonight, boys!”

— Woolie

“Woolie, would you like me to Guide Your Hips™?”

— Little V

“My name is Ryu, I like long walks on the beach, water without ice... and fireballs! And jumping into Light-Fierce!”

— Woolie

“It's like the noble journey to helping the stranger that the hero goes on is just about getting the dude's boner going.”

— Woolie

“Masochistic Man has joined your team as a findom.”

— Woolie

“Make sure to dropkick the chlidren. It's very important, so they learn their lesson.”

— Little V

“Aggravated assault with a weapon is totally the actions of a really nice man once you get to know him.”

— Woolie

“Awano, he's got what you call "dorippu".”

— Woolie

“You don't have to dig for it, I can toss it up in the air for ya.”

— Woolie

“I bet this man hates pineapple on his pizza and the word "moist".”

— Little V

“It's crippling when girls are watching.”

— Woolie

“I'll learn about my finishing blows so then I'll read a magazine about finishing blows... right over there.”

— Woolie

“When you're desperate, everything works. Everything raises your Heat.”

— Little V

“I'll learn about my finishing blows so then I'll read a magazine about finishing blows... right over there.”

— Woolie

“Horrible experiments coming in from Japan... but what does it say, though?”

— Woolie

“That's offensive to the eyes, I love it.”

— Little V

“Apparently he has the same managing skills as a high-school girl selling panties.”

— Little V

“Wheely-wheely, legs no feely!”

— Woolie

“Yo, Ippo got shanked! Right in the middle of his training arc and everything.”

— Woolie

“Normalize turkey outside of Thanksgiving.”

— Woolie

“Nugget's alright! He's better than Krazy Kyo!”

— Woolie

“30, 60, 90. You talk about Cross Tekken?”

— Woolie

“Yeah, exactly. In fact, lame it out like it's Cross Tekken.”

— Little V

“Also, I hate to break this to you, Kiryu, I don't think dry cleaning is gonna fix that suit. That's the poo water.”

— Little V

“His grease is too powerful it's actually overtaking the sewage juice.”

— Little V

“Kitten test failed, except... for people.”

— Woolie

“Cutscene Kiryu is a different person completely. It's kind of insane how completely different he is.”

— Woolie

“Wow, her aura is so strong that it actually killed some of your buzz.”

— Little V

“And he went off to make soy faces forever.”

— Woolie

“FYI, the leader of the opposite club of me thinks that I'm keeping a slave in his backyard.”

— Woolie

“The Bruce Lee colors are the only thing that matters.”

— Woolie

“Don't fight a tiger, that's stupid.”

— Little V

“Castor Troy. My name is Castor Troy... weird hand gesture.”

— Woolie

“I want to see all the idols, man.”

— Reggie

“"Psychosomatic blindness", that's what they called it.”

— Woolie

“Psychosomatic, addict, insane.”

— Reggie

“As your lawyer, Reggie, I advise you to keep posting that shit.”

— Woolie

“He can only fully jerk off if he has all three, three of a kind.”

— Woolie

“1988 gooner tech.”

— Reggie

“Two of a kind, and I'm edging.”

— Woolie

“Okay, here's the problem: me. The problem is me. I can't design the club for fuckin' general audiences! You come into Club Woolie, you're getting Woolie cabaret shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do here?!”

— Woolie

“You're now coming out in a mecha suit!”

— Reggie

“YES! Unironically! Fuck!”

— Woolie

“Don't worry, Yuki, we're getting you ready for granddads.”

— Reggie

“She was the Karentarian before she became the Obatarian.”

— Woolie

“This is where Woolie Madden gets up at Mandelay Bay and says "Nah, I'm good, I just took my 5, I'm happy with that".”

— Woolie

“There you go.”

— Reggie

“But as Majima in Sotenbori...”

— Woolie

“My next trick: there is a ten thousand dollar bill under a pile of dog shit.”

— Woolie

“A loud chiropractor pop, that's what it was, huh?”

— Reggie

“That's it.”

— Woolie

“Felt so good he came and passed out, that's what happened.”

— Reggie

“Loosening up some tension.”

— Woolie

“Ayo, you got a pimp?”

— Reggie

“Jesus Christ?”

— Woolie

“You sound like an asshole for not saying it like an asshole. There's no winning.”

— Woolie

“I can take you. We can handle some gooners.”

— Woolie

“Noooo.”

— Reggie

“Did you knock your kids out any time you needed a private conversation or...?”

— Woolie

“Oh no, he's ready for round 2.”

— Woolie

“That didn't take long.”

— Reggie

“Damn, I wasn't expecting a fuckfight, but... here we are. That pretty much counts.”

— Woolie

“I mean the real lesson is that you gotta cater to them, not the other way around.”

— Woolie

“He's not liking her.”

— Woolie

“Dude, what?”

— Reggie

“It says "poor"... no no, poor.”

— Woolie

“"Poor" is broke.”

— Reggie

“Oh, okay, okay.”

— Woolie

“"Poor" means he's a broke ass motherfucker.”

— Reggie

“And now that all the ladies have made me all this money, it's time to invest it in myself.”

— Woolie

“Go for a swim.”

— Reggie

“Right where I fish.”

— Woolie

“And they're fish food now.”

— Reggie

“It says "poor"... no no, poor.”

— Woolie as Hino

“Uh, I'm sorry?”

— Reggie as a waiter

“You heard me! Homicide! Am I paying you or not?”

— Woolie as Hino

“Reggie's waking up next to the Obatarian if she promises meat and potatoes.”

— Woolie

“I mean, last time I learned I can't be me, so I'll someone else.”

— Woolie

“Be me.”

— Reggie

“Yeah, sure. But you would've picked that too. I was you! You just failed!”

— Woolie

“No, I wouldn't”

— Reggie

“No-- shut the fu-- fuck off! Fuck right off!”

— Woolie

“You got no proof, alright?!”

— Reggie

“The opportunity to fuckin be like, to play moore myaah...”

— Woolie

“Respect first and foremost.”

— Reggie

“Oh, get outta here, bro! Who you lying to?!”

— Woolie

“Damn, moms up front.”

— Woolie

“Let's go!”

— Reggie

“You tapped his butt like a third basement.”

— Reggie

“Okay, Reggie, let's practice.”

— Woolie

“Oh boy.”

— Reggie

“Yo, what's up? Welcome to Canada! How y'all doing?”

— Woolie

“All hostesses are queens. If she's a Bronze, she a thot!”

— Reggie

“Oh man, those Michelin stars were earned with blood.”

— Woolie

“That's the work power of four hos... that's Shiho.”

— Reggie

“Off streets, you're meeting Bronzes, but when you pay the money at the shrine, The Silvers and Golds come to you.”

— Woolie

“Here I thought we were playing Yakuza, turns out I gotta choose what is the nature of a man... or what can change the nature of a man, excuse me.”

— Woolie

“I'm a man of many talents... I can kill a nıgga too!”

— Reggie as Majima

“Leave Jiren to her.”

— Woolie

“Let's rename ourselves.”

— Woolie

“Let's rebrand!”

— Reggie

“From Bar Diana to Toto's Chicken.”

— Woolie

“Damn, you're not Silver. Eugh.”

— Reggie

“More like Plastic.”

— Woolie

“Eren Simper.”

— Woolie

“Maybe you could send an agent...”

— Reggie

“Fuck that fuck that fuck that forever.”

— Woolie

“F that forever.”

— Reggie

“No, not forever, but fuck that on camera forever. Are we trying to do shit or are we trying to do shit?”

— Woolie

“Game recognize game, and you're looking kinda unfamiliar right now.”

— Woolie

“Club Sunshine, shine bright!”

— Reggie

“There we go.”

— Woolie

“Ain't no life on Mars.”

— Reggie

“Upgrade the club with CP.”

— Woolie

“No, I've never seen Shizuku in... "Wet Soap Opera 29". What?”

— Reggie

“Was it already chocolate? Yeah, okay, I think it was.”

— Woolie

“I guess the tables change or something.”

— Reggie

“Mark Henry comes through the door.”

— Woolie

“I thought we were gonna go throughl, like, "Poor", "Average", then like "N-Rich"... and then eventually "Rich".”

— Woolie

“Baller.”

— Reggie

“Shot-caller.”

— Woolie

“You're poor... you don't deserve Ai.”

— Woolie

“Damn.”

— Reggie

“You don't deserve love.”

— Woolie

“Gerontophilia is a thing. Go get it. Go get it, girl.”

— Reggie

“Do you even have a daughter or was that a lie? At this point I don't even fuckin' know, man. Jesus.”

— Woolie

“Never seen a boob.”

— Reggie

“Never seen a boob.”

— Woolie

“I didn't wanna go with you, but I guess we'll go with second place.”

— Woolie

“Welcome to Club Karoshi.”

— Woolie

“You want the kids to stop working too? That way we're going nowhere!”

— Reggie

“GalWorld!”

— Woolie

“Ship it! Ship it!”

— Reggie

“Bronzes don't get human rights.”

— Woolie

“Let's go, sloppy girls. I'm with it.”

— Reggie

“Somewhere, deep inside, Goro Majima cannot resist the urge.”

— Woolie

“Eventually, Shadow of the Obatarian will occur.”

— Woolie

“Jesus Christ, you gotta watch all the porn? Really?”

— Woolie

“Become a fuckin' gooner?”

— Woolie

“I just want you to stop and think about your choices in life and your job right now.”

— Woolie

“I think I peaked. I think I actually peaked.”

— Reggie

“Bruh, just go to the gas station and get yourself a Stree Overlord. The fuck are we doing?”

— Woolie

“They're sensible New Balances... when you get too old to care about style.”

— Woolie

“That's where I'm at.”

— Reggie

“Yeah. When the only drip that matters is the fuckin' skin hanging off your guts.”

— Woolie

“Dolce Kamiya is helping me find my gun.”

— Reggie

“I'm high off that Staminan Royale, two X Sotenbori piss bottles, and you can't stop me!”

— Reggie

“We smokin' those Gandhara runts.”

— Woolie

“Subscribe to the Cabaret University. Get your cabaret game up.”

— Woolie

“There was a Sporty Spice, was there not? Therefore, there is a category there. Something for everybody.”

— Woolie

“Average is the new poor. How 'bout that?”

— Woolie

“Etsuko in the clutch. She never washes that sweater.”

— Woolie

“It's the musk, you know. That's what works.”

— Reggie

Trivia

• The music used for the Part 1 intro is "Baka Mitai" from the Yakuza 0 OST. The first episode featured a version sung by Woolie and Little V.
• Episode 16 was instantly demonetized due to Little V describing an extremely edgy shirt he used to wear that said "Jesus is a cunt", so it had to be censored and re-uploaded.
• The LP was put on hiatus due to the sponsored Yakuza: Like a Dragon quick look and Little V experiencing a series of unfortunate personal events, as well as moving out of Montreal and dealing with harsh remarks from Reddit users. The LP resumed in 2024, with Reggie replacing him.
• The music used for the Part 2 intro is "Friday Night" from the Yakuza 0 OST.

Gallery

Part 1 title card

Woolie and V lose it when Kiryu uses kids in a S&M practice session in part thirty-six

The secret Reggie head to censor "thuggery" in part forty

Woolie and Reggie cosplaying Kiryu and Majima